“I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever.”  With these words Jesus is offering to us a personal and intimate relationship with him.  Our Holy Communion will bring us to dwell in Jesus and to have Jesus dwell in us.  Our Holy Communion will lead us into the very life of God.
 
Last week in my homily, I said that I am not sure why so many of our Catholic friends and family members fail to join us at this altar every week.  I wasn’t being completely honest.  I mean, my experience of Jesus in Holy Communion is so deep and so real, that it is hard for me to imagine that anyone could walk away from receiving Jesus.  Any yet from my own experience, I know that the autocratic leadership and arrogance of some of our Bishops has turned people away from the practice of their faith. With the revelations about former Cardinal McCarrick, it is really hard to deny the fact that there have been grave moral failures of judgement on the part of a good number of Church leaders.
 
When I arrived a year ago, I was amazed that we had far surpassed our goal for the Bishop’s Annual Appeal.  This year I am happy that over half of the members of this faith community have contributed, but we are still shy of our goal.  I respect the fact that not supporting our Bishop financially is one way to express our displeasure with his decisions.  But I would hope that if you are unhappy with something that I’ve done or failed to do, you would be kind enough to tell me directly and that you’d do the same for our Bishop by writing to him.  Neither of us may like to hear criticism, but the only way that needed reform is going to come about is if we start being honest with each other, especially when we are behaving badly.  Frank Keating, the former Governor of Oklahoma, a man who loves his faith and tried to bring reform to the Church at the height of the sexual abuse scandal has said, “After this McCarrick thing, if the senior prelates of the Catholic Church look the other way, then the lay community should demand they look back. This is outrageous!”
 
When we lose faith, it seldom has much to do with mysterious doctrines like the Trinity or Transubstantiation. More often, we lose faith in people to whom we looked for guidance, or we judge life to have taken such a disastrous turn that not even God can remedy circumstances. We lose faith in human goodness or in divine providence. And who am I as one who often has been disillusioned by the actions and inactions of the institutional Church to judge why others have turned away from the living bread of Jesus in Holy Communion. 
 
In today’s first reading, Elijah the prophet had just witnessed God’s astounding victory on Mount Carmel, and yet he was cast down by the infidelity of his compatriots. He had had enough. He had lost faith, but an angel of the Lord restored his faith. Pray that God will use us to restore faith in our families and among our friends.  And in the Gospel, some of those who had just witnessed Jesus’ ability to supply them with food, turned away when he explained the source of his mysterious power. They had had enough. Their response was to turn away from Jesus.  Pray God, that we will never turn away from Jesus.
 
In some ways it is much easier to study the faith than to live by it. Perhaps this is because we are not expected to understand the mysteries to which we pledge allegiance, but we are expected to live righteously through the mysterious twists and turns of life. We have to live with disappointment and loss and failure, and not give up on other people or on God.  I have to live with my disillusionment and not give up on the possibility of reform with in the Church that I love so much.
 
In today’s second reading, St. Paul provides us with a plan of action. Do away with bitterness, fury and anger. Live lives of kindness, compassion and forgiveness. What has any of this to do with faith? It is faith that strengthens us to live in this way in a world filled with terror and violence, in a church marked by betrayal and disillusionment. Will we ever really understand our faith?  Probably not, but it does give us Jesus, the living bread. Will we ever really learn to live by our faith? Good Lord, I hope so.  Amen!  Amen!

Fr. Jerry Ragan